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Seed of Hope
Late summer, when the sun sets in the field,
we walked, anxious, down the green, grassy slope
to the bench, a seat of inspiration.
Low in the sky, a cloud became a shield,
I fell under shadow, your loves elope
as someone recites your incantation.
Disgorging the pain, long held - now unsealed,
our distance grew, spirits began to grope
through the heavy winter months of ashen.
Now, light lingers, the snow begins to yield,
uncovering the pearl of treasured hope,
a seed of spring green, our love refreshen.
Consent to begin, no hurts left to wield,
sharing a new season - to be revealed.
©Eusebeia Philos 2013
Written as a sonnet for dVerse~Poets Pub on Form for All: On Midwinter, Magic Realism, and a Trireme Sonnet
Wow, gorgeous spring sonnet ~
ReplyDeleteI specially like the last tercet, uncovering the pearl of treasured hope, our love refreshen ~ The couplet speaks of beginnings and sharing a new season ~
Thank you. I love spring and all it brings. I never tire of stories of renewal.
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ReplyDeleteI liked how the distance was apparently short-lived and the pain disgorged could be gotten past. Felt the emotion in this strongly of finally being able to express some long-held pain and the renewal ahead.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's the way I see it, too. To move forward we need to confront our hurts. Thanks.
DeleteLovely sonnet, and so nice to see I'm not the only one who must dive into the form now and then. I usually default to quatrains but I like the flow of this a great deal. Very nicely done - a new season to be revealed. Yes. - Kat
ReplyDeleteYes, I like the restrictions of a form, needing only for me to fill it. Thanks, Kat.
Deletenice...really like the setting..the old bench and your use of the light in this as well...almost as a transition...i would agree as well on confronting our hurts...not an easy task at all but necessary...really fine use of the form...
ReplyDeleteAll relationships generate hurts, most unaware. Expose and address them, move on. Thanks, Brian.
DeleteA trireme sonnet that weaves toward its conclusion with such ease. The simplicity of the tercets and the subtlety of the rhyme scheme lend themselves well to the spring poem, and that theme of renewal and rebirth. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the prompt of the form, explanation, and your own example. They were very helpful, as are your observations.
DeleteI like this very much as it goes deeper than a basic poem; what comes across is an emotional change with the seasons..why can't spring last longer?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Katy. I guess that's why there will always be poets, asking those emotional questions.
DeleteLove the seasonal change, which seems to be a commong theme among almost all the entries. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThere must be something in the air we all sense. Thank you.
DeleteThis is beautiful. I like "Low in the sky, a cloud became a shield." You explained well the different feelings brought about by the different seasons. When spring comes, there always IS a resurgence of wonder and the joy in finding out what new is 'to be revealed.' And yes, as Katy said, why can't spring last longer than it does?
ReplyDeleteEvery life, every relationship has expectations of something new. I hope. Thanks, Mary.
DeleteI really like the bench a seat of inspiration and the second tercet.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laurie. Funny how we attach virtue or qualities to inanimate objects, the associations we make.
DeleteThere are some beautiful images in this - the cloud shield, the sun setting in the field. For me, it was all going beautifully until the final word of the third tercet - "ashen" - which just doesn't seem to fit. It seems that the rhyme has driven the word choice to the detriment of your meaning.
ReplyDeleteI initially had a similar reaction to refreshen, but I think a hyphen in this would resolve that, even if it isn't strictly necessary.
Sorry if this seems picky, but I enjoyed your poem - and would have enjoyed it more but for this :-) I offer my suggestions humbly, knowing that my own poetry is often far from perfectly polished, and that some of my word choices are not the best either.
So glad you stopped by to read and offer helpful criticism. I appreciate an honest take. It definitely helps me appraise my own writing. Thanks.
Delete...i like the transition of seasonal changes here... resonated well with the kind of relationship that changes thru times in every closing & opening of new season... you invest enough pain & hope together in this well crafted & affecting sonnet... much enjoyed of the day... thank you... smiles...
ReplyDeleteI am glad the pain and hope are evident. Thanks for the encouragement, Kelvin.
DeleteI like the sense of hope in this poem
ReplyDelete