Skies drop crystal rain waves, black sheets of reality overdose
Wiper blades alternate - slip slap - blur clear - with a lean forward
Wildflowers, satin rhythm, my images of you draw me home
©Eusebeia Philos 2013
A sijo, written with some freedom, for dVerse Poets ~ Form for All hosted by Samuel Peralta.
I get a very clear picture with this poem. I can see someone driving home wanting to see a loved one. The last line is really beautiful.
ReplyDeletevery cool...i like how the blur of the wipers develop an image beyond the visible...also love the use of onomatopoeia...
ReplyDeleteoh nice...i like the focus on sound in the second line and pairing that with the rhythm in the last line....very visual too...i like this one much....
ReplyDeleteI can see this.. and the connection to the picture is crystal clear.... Love it....
ReplyDeleteHow many times have I made that journey down dark lanes with the image of my little family powerful enough to draw me home safely.
ReplyDeleteI relate to this so easily but being reminded of the hypnotic movement of those wipers nearly had me nodding off ;-)
I love that final line--the things that draw us home. Very nice on the sijo.
ReplyDeleteYou have me right there with you...
ReplyDeleteThat longing to get home certainly increases in those poor driving conditions.
ReplyDeleteI think I just drove through one rainy and bad road ~
ReplyDeleteYou commented that you couldn't understand this form in my post ~ Basically I used a strict internal count of 14 syllables for the first two lines. The last line completed the maximum count. I used space between phrases, instead of commas to denote the pause ~
Good to see you trying out this form ~
Really really like this - the sound effects in the second line are very cool and loved the close. Nice poem - K
ReplyDeleteI really like this.
ReplyDeleteI can see this through your eyes. And I hear those wiper blades!
ReplyDeleteAh, those wiper blades, like a painter's brush across the palette of the windshield!
ReplyDeleteSmart and reflective sijo...with a sweet thought.
ReplyDeletethe longing...
ReplyDelete...you made it so clear for us in your finale line... i can feel the thrill over here... smiles...
ReplyDeleteI've made that journey so often; I hate driving when it is dark and raining - one or the other I don't mind - but the thought of being home with those I love does indeed pull me onwards.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this, Eusebia
ah... ran into so much rain this last week driving... you took me back to the uncomfortable time... glad to be home
ReplyDeleteBeautiful descriptions...and I know that sense of urgency wanting to get home driving through rain and the intense concentration. Loved that final line!
ReplyDeleteA lovely way to use the form. I am fascinated to see how differently we have all approached it.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSweet romantic poem -- sanity in the blurred busy life.