Other worlds exist beneath the surface of my assumptions.
A lovely sensuous observation.
Thank you, Rowan. Nice to meet you.
Very lovely post...good choice of words that definitely are a moment in time.Thank youPeace
I like the scented neck and the pulsing vein like a wave on water ~ Beautiful cinquain ~
ow wow...sensual and evocative....love the tactile in the breath and the pulse....mmm..and the wave...that was almost enough to put it over the top...ha...nice
Lovely small details to notice. Beautiful cinquain!
Cool poem. Thoughts: "Scented"? Older woman? Maybe I don't know the scenting types.I was curious why you chose "water". I could almost hear "life". Immersed in life! But it, like "blood" ,only has one damn syllable. Yeah, I get it. Loved the pic and the dive into flesh.
Sensitive and sensual - loved the 'small wave' so much feeling in so few syllables -K
Passionate and with so much feeling. Commenting from dVerse.
...beautiful cinquain... and i loved the focus you set up with the scented neck... demonstrating the curves from both the inner / outer view... great one.... smiles...
a small wave on warm blue... very nice.
This made me blush a little. You say a lot in those few syllables.
A very Japanese sensibility here - the neck, the pulsing vein can be so much more sensuous than anything more obvious.
Very nice. This almost perfect switch from the neck to the wave. Masterful
this was scary to me... like what was going to happen next... thought loved the gentle pen you used
This is really good. Not only have you aced the form and delivered beautiful lines, you've managed to engage all five senses in just 22 syllables. Encore, encore....
You've outdone yourself...this is tender and perfect..
oh really love the comparison of the pulsing vein with a wave on blue warm water..so cool
Yet another powerful poem sir...