Thursday, March 14, 2013

Immersion


"Immersion"
 
Breathing
deeply above
your scented neck, a vein
pulses, a small wave on warm blue
water.
 
 
©Eusebeia Philos 2013
 

20 comments:

  1. A lovely sensuous observation.

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  2. Very lovely post...good choice of words that definitely are a moment in time.
    Thank you
    Peace

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  3. I like the scented neck and the pulsing vein like a wave on water ~ Beautiful cinquain ~

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  4. ow wow...sensual and evocative....love the tactile in the breath and the pulse....mmm..and the wave...that was almost enough to put it over the top...ha...nice

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  5. Lovely small details to notice. Beautiful cinquain!

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  6. Cool poem.
    Thoughts:
    "Scented"? Older woman? Maybe I don't know the scenting types.

    I was curious why you chose "water". I could almost hear "life". Immersed in life! But it, like "blood" ,only has one damn syllable. Yeah, I get it.

    Loved the pic and the dive into flesh.

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  7. Sensitive and sensual - loved the 'small wave' so much feeling in so few syllables -K

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  8. Passionate and with so much feeling. Commenting from dVerse.

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  9. ...beautiful cinquain... and i loved the focus you set up with the scented neck... demonstrating the curves from both the inner / outer view... great one.... smiles...

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  10. a small wave on warm blue... very nice.

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  11. This made me blush a little. You say a lot in those few syllables.

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  12. A very Japanese sensibility here - the neck, the pulsing vein can be so much more sensuous than anything more obvious.

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  13. Very nice. This almost perfect switch from the neck to the wave. Masterful

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  14. this was scary to me... like what was going to happen next... thought loved the gentle pen you used

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  15. This is really good. Not only have you aced the form and delivered beautiful lines, you've managed to engage all five senses in just 22 syllables. Encore, encore....

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  16. You've outdone yourself...this is tender and perfect..

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  17. oh really love the comparison of the pulsing vein with a wave on blue warm water..so cool

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